Spa for the course at The Belfry

Mar 16 2008 by Richard McComb, Sunday Sun

I AM standing in a room called the "Igloo", dressed in my swimming trunks, rubbing chips of ice into my body.

This should be torture. I should be screaming. But I’m not. I’m smiling to myself.

Suddenly, everything makes perfect sense.

I have entered that mythical place known as the "spa zone".

The Igloo experience arrives halfway round the AquaSpa at The Belfry’s leisure club. Most men come here for the golf, to follow in the repaired divot marks of their Ryder Cup idols.

I’ve come here to confront something far, far trickier . . . my inner self.

It is not as easy as it sounds, blanking out the frivolity and lunacy of everyday life . . . but the rewards are bountiful.

Increasing numbers of men are donning white robes, lying back, and thinking of absolutely nothing at spas.

There was a time when chaps were expected to derive pleasure from standing on sodden football terraces, slamming their sweaty bodies down squash court walls, or playing with their kid’s Nintendo.

Not any more. It’s now macho to spa, butch to go bio-thermal. Real men, as I discover, do facials.

For the equivalent price of a Pukka pie, a couple of pints, and a ticket to watch Birmingham City, it is possible to buy a little slice of leisure heaven.

Pick the right place, like The Belfry, and you, like me, will come over all metrosexual, and almost weep like a prom queen on departure.

My two-hour "relaxation-orientated experience" started at 10am with an introduction to the arid, wet, steamy and freezing splendour of the AquaSpa.

The atmospherically-lit rooms are designed to build up the heat and suppleness of the body before you are invited to step under an ice shower. The icy deluge is optional . . . but you’d be a wimp not to.

Then there is the joy of the hydrotherapy pool, flumping about in foamy warm water. But more of that later.

The session began by sitting on a heated tiled seat and putting my feet into a pool of bubbly, warm water. The idea is that the heat transmission gradually relaxes the muscles. Clearly, this is not a natural thing to do, sitting with one’s toes dangling in a basin-sized pool, and could be conceived as being rather silly. But suspend your disbelief and you’ll have a ball.

After an amazingly invigorating but, let’s face it, freezing shower — I hit the "ice" shower button rather than the "tropical" shower option by mistake — it was into a succession of warm rooms, one of which, the "aroma cave", is infused with a sinus-clearing mist of eucalyptus scent.

Then it was into the sauna, where I may have overdone it slightly.

I staggered from the suffocating heat of the wooden chamber like a character from the Second World War film Ice Cold in Alex, in which our intrepid heroes become trapped in the sapping heat of the North Africa desert.

While wilting in the sauna, I toyed with the prospect of pulling a bucket of iced water over my head. Would I, wouldn’t I?

When the moment arrived, there was no time for prevarication. Seconds after stepping from the sauna, I yanked the chain, the seven-foot high wooden bucket flipped over and the rest is a blur. It was all madly exciting.

After a few minutes gathering myself in the spa’s tranquillity room listening to jungle noises, I decided to cool down further and strolled nonchalantly into the Igloo, where the temperature is akin to the inside of a domestic fridge.

Ice, apparently, is brilliant for exfoliating dead skin, so I picked up handfuls of it and scoured away. I was joined by three women, one of whom looked at the ice pile and queried where the vodka was.

A sprightly, bikini-clad member of the trio rubbed some ice into her armpits, and giggled . . . it’s that sort of a place.

Later, I flopped into the hydrotherapy pool, where water jets massage parts of the body ordinary Jacuzzis can’t reach. As I lay over the side of the pool, jets gently pummelling stomach, chest and chin, I glimpsed spa nirvana . . . my mind went blank.

All this flopping about in steam rooms and pools builds up an appetite, and an inclusive spa lunch followed in the leisure club’s Cafe Bar.

As you would expect, lunch includes healthy drinks such as juice . . . so I had a cold beer. I thought it was only right to recreate the famous scene at the end of "Alex" when the plucky Brits neck a water-beaded glass of lager.

The food was ideal spa fare. I had a poached chicken breast, potato gnocchi with pecorino and spinach, and a crisp salad. Pudding was fresh fruit . . . and very cleansing it was, too.

After the rigours of the morning it was time for total shutdown courtesy of a full body massage. I now fear I may have become massage dependent. The treatment began with a device that looked like a medieval weapon of torture.

It was rubbed over the body, imparting the sensation of a relaxing scrub. The skin was then exfoliated and, after a quick shower, it was time to hit the massage table again for a ticket to oblivion.

I did make a mental note of trying to remember which massage oil I selected but I came over so wobbly I could barely recall my own name. I’m sure "orange" featured somewhere. Sam, the therapist, said it would do the trick. She wasn’t wrong. Just when I thought I couldn’t sink any deeper into my spiritual sea, I had a facial . . . and dropped a few more leagues.

Now I know what you’re thinking.

A bloke? Having a facial? Put aside your prejudices because male facials are the new bottle of lager and a Chinese takeaway in front of Match of the Day quintessential male experience.

Just like women’s facials, male facials are frivolous. And, yes, you look a bit of a twerp having one, but they’re just so good, so now.

Day spas at The Belfry offer terrific value for money. For total pleasure, though, an overnight stay is hard to resist.

I had dinner in the French restaurant, where the team work wonders with the best of local produce and some excellent fish.

I had a faultless starter of scallops, cauliflower spume with saffron and cumin foam, followed by an equally accomplished fillet of John Dory, apple and celeriac gratin and a wild mushroom fricassee.

Dessert, if anything, surpassed what went before . . . a warm, gooey chocolate fondant, blood orange sorbet, a satsuma curd and poached orange segments.

The glistening bauble of zingy yet sweet frozen blood orange was unquestionably the best sorbet I have ever eaten.

It was another round of bliss at the home of the Ryder Cup . . . and one to be recommended.

TRAVEL FACTS

Richard McComb was a guest at The Belfry, Wishaw, Sutton Coldfield, West Midlands.

Based on two sharing a twin/double room, a one-night stay, including dinner in The French Restaurant (table d'hôte menu), costs from £89 per person per night.

The AquaSpa is an additional £30 per person, and lunch in The Café Bar costs £7–£10 per person.

A spa day normally includes lunch, with spa packages starting from £65 (Simply Spa) to include use of the leisure facilities, a one-hour ESPA treatment or an AquaSpa.

Dinner in The Atrium restaurant is £24.95, or could form part of a dinner, bed and breakfast package, starting from £79 per person per night.

For details about The Belfry, telephone 01675 470301 or visit thebelfry.co.uk

Five tips for men at spas

1. Shave before a facial. A smooth beard area gives the opportunity to treat any signs of razor burn, ingrown hairs, or neck irritation caused by use of an old razor. Otherwise, these concerns will go unnoticed.

2. Arrive 10 minutes early before your appointment.

This will allow you a stress-free check in. Many spas require an intake form to be filled out before your scheduled treatment. It also gives you time to change, shower or decompress.

3. Turn off mobile phones and keep your voices down when entering the spa.

Spas create a soothing, relaxing and mellow environment to help you whack crazed nerves or tension, which can be ruined with noise.

4. Don’t put on body lotion before waxing.

It will make your back waxing less painful and easier to remove the strip wax. Also, it’s very important that you inform the technician if you are using Retin-A or Accutane, as this will avoid an awkward moment when your skin is being removed along with your hair.

5. Be open with your spa technician.

Inform your technician of any body, mental or skin ‘imbalances’ such as allergies, medications that may affect your skin, torn ligaments, claustrophobic etc. Your spa technician will then customize your massage, facial or nail treatment.