Football lands in the cuckoo’s nest

Feb 7 2010 by Neil Farrington, Sunday Sun

AT around the time Jack Nicholson was feigning madness on Sky Movies the other night, Sky Sports News delivered final confirmation of football’s insanity.

“One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”? A few of Randall P McMurphy’s fellow loony bin residents might now find meaningful employment in the Beautiful Game.

It’s bad enough that John Terry was not sacked as England captain the moment he was revealed to have all but cuckolded a team-mate, let alone not be man enough to resign.

Equally preposterous is that Terry’s woman was ever in line to profit by at least £250,000 for potentially breaking two families and several hearts.

And I was also scratching my head at the news that numerous Sunderland fans have been charged with pre-meditated acts of hooliganism in Newcastle.

That’s what with them having been on a train they were told would not even stop in Newcastle . . .

But final proof that football has fallen over the edge came with SSN’s newspaper review, and the report of a pay rise for Stoke winger Matthew Etherington.

A pay rise, in order that he be able to repay his gambling losses.

It would have felt like April 1 had come early, but the truth in this case was far stranger than anything the combined brains of Fleet Street, Canary Wharf and Wapping could dream up on All Fool’s Day.

So much for a footballer keeping his head down and his nose clean when an addiction which would cut no ice for you and I – with employer, bailiff or judge – literally pays its way.

And at least Terry is a footballer worth some measure of hassle. The fact that a mediocrity like Etherington has the means to build up 800 grand’s worth of debt is beyond absurd.

It’s obscene.

As for Terry, the question should not have been whether he kept the England captaincy, but whether he kept his England place.

Still should, in fact.

Again, imagine if you or I had acted so shabbily in our private life that it impacted – as Terry’s betrayal of international team-mate Wayne Bridge stands to do – on our work.

The first thing we’d do is apologise, because the first thing we’d expect is to be fired.