Anyone for a bacon sarnie?

Jan 13 2008 By Alan Ross, Sunday Sun

IF you run a cafe, shop, or supply sarnies anywhere near the Magic 1170 offices in Thornaby, don’t read the following. We’re told trade is going to be bad enough in 2008 without this!

The unthinkable has happened. Everyone in the office — excluding yours truly — has decided to go on a health kick.

The usual cry of “Anyone for a bacon sandwich?” has been replaced with a strange muttered enquiry which is something to do with sharing a clementine. They smell almost as nice as a bacon butty, but that is where the resemblance ends for me . . . I need my calories.

“This won’t last,” I said, encouragingly. “I give it until the end of the month.”

The two marketing types then set on me. The one that smokes like a chimney said that he was starting the day with a bowl of cereal, and the one that doesn’t smoke like a chimney sent out for some more fruit.

He’s since admitted to eating a complete box of biscuits one evening, on the grounds that they needed using up, but it seems this doesn’t count.

My boss then announced that his “body is a temple”. None of the comments that sprung to mind will enhance my employment prospects, but I suppose my body is a temple as well. A roomy one that’s just had an extension built at tummy level.

A friend of mine let slip at New Year that she was giving up, among other things, sugar and desserts, but was combining this with Lent in order to placate the gods and achieve a few ambitions this year.

Her scheme is that when she veers off the straight and narrow, she adds on an extra week. If she is anything like me, Lent will last all year.

Good luck with your resolutions . . . and don’t despair too much if you stray.