Tips for when it comes to the crunch . .

Aug 17 2008 by Ken Oxley, Sunday Sun

THE credit crunch has well and truly crunched. It’s about a year ago that we started hearing about sub-prime mortgages, and now look at us . . . can’t afford petrol, can’t afford electricity, can’t afford shopping, can’t afford anything.

So here’s yet more energy, exercise and money-saving tips from Doctor Ross, who accepts no responsibility for any fabulous savings or improvements to your lifestyle this advice might bring . . .

Don’t buy pricey energy-saving lightbulbs . . . use up your ordinary ones, but don’t switch them on very much. If you are doing this properly the house should be in total darkness more or less all the time.

A candle will give you enough light to see to go to bed with, and will also provide much needed employment for our firefighters.

A safer alternative might be to use a small battery-powered torch. The added exercise from walking around the house in the dark checking that every light is off will help shed those calories.

Switch off your television completely . . . it’s only radio with pictures. Listen to a battery- powered radio or, better still, a wind-up clockwork one.

If you must watch television, make a list of the programmes you might want to see and then watch 10 per cent of them. Provided you live in a solar-powered house.

Walk to the shops. Great exercise and, provided you’re as fond as me of walking, you’ll end up going into the first shop you stumble across, thus benefiting the local economy.

You won’t want to carry a large number of heavy bags back with you, so the diet will benefit immediately. Fewer bags mean fewer calories! Pizzas and that square-shaped freezer sausage are very light to carry, as are packets of crisps, and pick and mix sweets.

Junk the heavy stuff such as fruit, bread, potatoes and tinned beans and sardines. Reward yourself for starting this exercise regime with a kebab every so often. Provided it comes with all that healthy salad.

Washing in cold water can bring back fabulous memories of childhood caravanning trips. In fact turn off all the heating. Going to bed when the sun sets, in an old cardigan and bedsocks with a milky drink and an improving book will sharpen up your love life no end.

Provided you follow these tips to the letter, you’ll save enough money to fill the car up once between now and Christmas in no time. Happy energy saving!