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King Alan rules
Oct 11 2009 by Colin Patterson, Sunday Sun
THAT popular singer and fine role model, Miss Britney Spears, has been giving us the benefit of her wisdom recently, outlining “10 ways that America would be better” if she were President.
Two of them are fine and dandy – “free pie” for everyone is clearly a winner, and her challenge to put a nightclub on the Moon by the end of the decade was headline catching, though reminiscent of a real 1960s president’s challenge.
It got me thinking what I’d do if I were king over here. I’d be a good king. Firm, but fair, would be my guiding principle. Life would be better under King Alan. I’d rule by decree. How about these?
To promote road safety, speed cameras would be redeployed to take pictures of drivers signalling incorrectly at roundabouts. Persistent offenders would find their vehicles clamped.
Speed cameras not used for these purposes would be trained on cyclists. Any cyclists not paying attention to traffic lights and the rules of the road – ie, all of them – would have their cycles immediately impounded.
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