Home News Columnists Alan Ross

King Alan rules

Oct 11 2009 by Colin Patterson, Sunday Sun

Cycle lanes would be abolished and the space given over to cars. The roads would clearly become a great deal safer overnight, and the army of clampers, road painters and impounders would provide a boost for employment.

People using words and phrases like “24/7”, “staycation”, “at this moment in time” or “awesome” would be given a friendly warning, and if they reoffended, they’d be put under house arrest.

The same for anyone caught using the word “unique” when they mean “unusual”. House arrest is liberal. I was originally considering having them all shot.

And as for anyone saying “SOOO anything”, retribution would be swift and SOOO unpleasant I couldn’t possibly write about it in a family newspaper such as this!

Keep up to date with the news. Sign up for News Alerts

Have your say on the latest news and sport in our Forums

Site Tools