Cashing in on Lesbian fight

Jun 15 2008 by Ian Robson, Sunday Sun

ONE by one they paraded in front of the television cameras for a news item.

And one by one these big butch men said they were proud to be Lesbians.

Apparently, the red-blooded blokes of Lesbos, the Greek holiday island, want their identity back.

So they have launched a legal campaign to wrest the term lesbian back from, er, lesbians.

Whatever happens, there seems to be a falling out between Lesbians with a capital L — permanent residents of Lesbos — and lesbians without a capital L who flock to the island on their hols.

So where will gay women make their spiritual home if Lesbos throws them out?

I see a business opportunity here for Lesbury in Northumberland.

The village is not as glamorous, not as hot, but it could meet a gap in the market for lesbian holidays.

Its 871 residents could make a mint with the right business plan.

It’s just a mile from the coast and, with your eyes shut, the North Sea could pass for the Med.

The Duke of Northumberland, who owns most of the village, could persuade his missus to throw in a themed night at Alnwick Garden.

Someone could set up B&Bs, someone else could sell duffel coats to keep out the chill air, and there’s always room for feminist literature.

There could even be an annual Amazon contest on the banks of the Aln.

See? Lots of business opportunities for the right entrepreneurs.

I don’t know what people from Lesbury call themselves, if anything, but Lesbians seems as good as anything.

Of course, in years to come, the big butch blokes of Lesbury might develop a liking for the moniker and take legal action to keep the name to themselves.

Then there might be a three-way tussle for the right to be called Lesbians.

It’s a strange old world.