Who are the worst drivers?

Aug 22 2010 by Ian Robson, Sunday Sun

CAN I have your nominations for the worst drivers on the road, please.

Is it the old men and women who tootle along at 20 miles an hour causing other drivers to hit the brake?

Or perhaps the sat nav freaks who think nothing of driving into fields and rivers because that’s what they were told to do?

You could have a downer on cyclists who like mounting the pavement, going through red lights, and swerving at the last minute.

Boy racers are a contender, but that’s not who I’m thinking of.

No, my friend, no. The worst drivers on the road are the so-called professionals.

Taxi drivers, bus drivers and truckers are by far the scourge of the highway.

Taxi drivers first. These are the people who always wait at red lights with their front wheels well over the line.

They always pull away at the first possible micro-second when the lights switch.

Is the guy behind you too close? Chances are he’s a taxi driver.

Does he change lanes at speed and without warning? Taxi driver.

Does he drive like he owns the road? Taxi driver.

Even being a passenger can be stressful. They either have those daft ear pieces in and say nowt, or treat you like a best mate and never stop talking.

I remember one journey where the driver concerned insisted on telling politically incorrect jokes.

Got to admit the one about Heather Mills, a tube of Immac, and a woodworker’s plane made me smile.

But modesty forbids me from repeating any of the others.

Bus drivers are no better, with an annoying habit of driving too close, for some reason, to other buses.

Who enters a junction without the exit being clear and then blocks the road for other motorists? Chances are it’s a bus driver.

Bus drivers also seem to think the correct sequence is mirror, manoeuvre, and optional signal when pulling out from bus stops.

And that leads us to truckers.

Ah, yes, truckers – the very definition of motorway madness.

Truckers think it’s funny to drive too slow if they’re in front, too near if they’re behind, and are quite capable of working together to create a Nissan Micra sandwich with you in the middle.

That actually happened to me on the A1 and I still have nightmares.

And I’m sure they take sadistic pleasure from passing at speed and creating wind tunnels.

The point I’m making here is that professional drivers are the ones most likely to behave as if they are the best ones.

You need a certain amount of arrogance to survive on the roads these days.

But, if familiarity breeds contempt, those most familiar with the driving wheel can be the most contemptuous drivers of all.