Home News Columnists Ken Oxley

Card-carrying refusenik

EVERY morning I look in the mirror and see some bloke who’s neither, tall, dark nor handsome and very much the wrong side of 40. Read

A Burrell of laughs

IT’S a great pity that Lord Justice Scott Baker, the coroner presiding over the pointless inquest into Princess Diana’s death, can’t compel slimy Paul Burrell to return to the UK and explain himself. Read

Is it time to sack the referee?

IT’S only a matter of time before the Premiership succumbs to the introduction of goal-line technology. Read

One size doesn’t fit all

I’M so used to seeing size-zero models these days that I had to do a double take at the line-up of women wearing Jordan’s new range of lingerie. Read

Arrest ordeal outside superstore

SAINSBURY’S is forever urging its customers to “try something new today”, so I did . . . I got wrongfully arrested outside one of its stores. My humiliating ordeal began when I left the company’s store on Team Valley, Gateshead, last week. Read

Lack of taste in Harry coverage

GOD bless Prince Harry for putting his life on the line to go head to head with those evil Afghanis. Oh yes, the third in line to the throne wasn’t just playing soldiers out there, you know. Read

Tory boss in a Jam

MUSIC-LOVING MP David Cameron is under scrutiny yet again after revealing his love of The Jam’s seminal hit Eton Rifles in an article for The Spectator magazine. Read

Quaking houses

THANKS to all of you who were brave enough to leave the safety of your homes to buy a copy of the Sunday Sun this morning. I know it can’t have been easy. Read

Measured solution to drink problem

SAY what you like about this Government, but it’s never stuck for a solution to the many problems facing society. Read

Vic Reeves is past a joke after Brits

THERE’S appointment-to-view TV — the type you dare not miss — and dental-appointment TV, the type that’s about as entertaining as having a tooth pulled. Read

Women aren’t on my level

A FEMALE radio and TV executive has caused a bit of stir by claiming men listen to music on an intellectual level, while women respond from the heart. Read

Play the game and take blame

I WAS stung with a speeding fine this week for doing 36mph in a 30mph zone . . . but it wasn’t my fault. Read

Deep sea driver’s daft

PERHAPS I lack vision, but I don’t see much call for Frank Rinderknecht’s underwater car. Especially as it costs £750,000. Read

Rep down the Dwain

NOT content with making himself the pariah of the athletics world, drugs cheat Dwain Chambers has gone one stage further by becoming public enemy number one for an entirely different group . . . lepers. Read

No sharia for Britain, thank you Archbishop

THE Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams looks like everyone’s least favourite uncle. Read

Premiership plan is not fair play

IS it such a terrible idea to stage top football matches abroad? Read

JFK’s heir, apparently

THANKS to the excessive media coverage, I’ve been bludgeoned into having a view on the US elections. Read

Welcome return for Tory values

THANK you to Gateshead-boy Derek Conway for restoring my lack of faith in the Conservative party. Read

Adultery boon for Cheryl

CHERYL COLE owes a lot to hubby Ashley . . . he’s turned the diminutive Geordie songstress with previous into Mother Teresa. Read

MoD payout’s cynical

NICE of the Ministry of Defence to agree compensation to the Porton Down veterans for tests undertaken during the Cold War. Read

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