Care for victims of abuse

Mar 9 2008 by Pauline Holt, Sunday Sun

ABUSE victims are to benefit when a counselling organisation launches its first outreach service.

SomeOneCares has been a lifeline for survivors of sexual, physical or emotional abuse for almost 20 years.

They have provided one-to-one counselling and telephone support to thousands of men and women in a variety of settings, including local hospitals.

But now the not-for-profit organisation wants to make its services more accessible to the wider community, and particularly to those people who may have been reluctant to visit them in more formal surroundings.

Later this month, The Meadows Community Centre on the Meadow Well estate in North Tyneside will become the first neighbourhood-based centre to host its sessions.

SomeOneCares vice chairman Joe Cullen said: “It’s about being able to offer that bit more confidentiality to clients. Some people will feel safer coming into a place like this community centre than going somewhere associated with statutory services. We know there’s a huge need out there.

“One of the reasons for coming here was that we did some research on people suffering mental distress which identified something like 300 people per week who could be seen that weren’t getting the service.”

SomeOneCares, which draws funding from a number of charitable bodies, including the Northern Rock Foundation, the Big Lottery Fund and the Scarman Trust, has 22 fully-trained counsellors.

The investigations into allegations of abuse at a children’s home in Jersey illustrate how many people are unable to confront abuse until past memories are triggered, and also how, even when complaints are made, they are often not taken seriously.

Joe said: “What surprises people, and what people will often say is ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ or ‘Why did you put up with it for so long?’.

“There are often many reasons for that and the main one is that when it happens, it happens to young people who are very vulnerable and who don’t feel able to tell anyone.

“How does someone who is supposed to be a ‘good little girl’ tell their mother or father that they are not a ‘good little girl’ any more? They can’t do it.

“SomeOneCares offers the chance for people to talk to someone who is detached from the situation.”

SomeOneCares will be officially opened at The Meadows on March 19 by Tyne Tees presenter Philippa Tomson, a patron.

They can be contacted on 0191-258 4825. It is also based at St Nicholas Hospital in Newcastle. Call 0844-811 5522 ext 28255.

---------------------------------------------------------

Hidden trauma of sex attack lives on

ONE victim kept her trauma hidden for 25 years. Helen Hudspith, 42, was just 12 when she was sexually abused by a man in his fifties.

She said: "He was a man I was friendly with. He had an allotment near our house and me and my friend would see him and play with his dog.

"One day I went on my own. My friend was on holiday and that’s when the abuse took place.

"I didn’t tell anyone for about 25 years. I blanked it out. I thought if I told someone I would get into trouble. I thought it was my fault it had happened, that I hadn’t behaved properly or something."

As Helen grew into adulthood, she suffered long bouts of depression, would self-harm and even contemplated suicide.

She said: "It kept recurring and I didn’t really know why. I had very low self-esteem."

She was prescribed anti-depressants but nothing seemed to work. Then she began to get flashbacks and consulted a counsellor in London, who discussed her abuse with her . . . but who charged her a lot of money for doing so.

When she moved back to the North, Helen was referred to Joe, who has been counselling her for free through SomeOneCares for two years.

She said: "I do have bad times but it’s fantastic to know there is always someone you can turn to.

"It’s a terrible thing to deal with but I think the more people like me who stand up and say it happened and it’s not my fault, then that’s got to help with the stigma of abuse."