Darlington 2 Newcastle United 7

Jul 19 2009 by Neil Farrington, Sunday Sun

So, two games, 10 goals. Crisis. What crisis?

Oh, if only everything – anything, in fact – was as straightforward off the pitch at Newcastle as it has appeared on it in pre-season so far.

Look at this scoreline, and it would be tempting to assume that a warm glow is radiating from United’s new custard cream away strip.

A Shola Ameobi double, two assists from Joey Barton, a maiden Magpie goal for Jonas Gutierrez and more besides . . . surely cause for cautious optimism on Tyneside.

But the reality – even amid the fizz of this 7-up showing – is not lost on the 3500 fans who made the short trip down the A1.

Whether Derek Llambias, sat alone in Darlington’s directors’ box, is as in tune remains anyone’s guess.

Sure, class told yesterday, and a host of familiar faces showed up well. But against a team of strangers.

And the situation at St James’s Park – as symbolised by the pair of boxer shorts thrown at Llambias from a Geordie-populated executive box late on yesterday – is still pants.

How many of the players who came relatively – belatedly – good yesterday can Newcastle’s managing director promise will be around when the serious business begins in three weeks?

What promises of any nature, while his mucker Mike Ashley holds firm on an absurd asking price for the club, can Llambias make to the fans who flocked south here?

He should ask himself that before shaking his head, as he did yesterday, when those fans sing: “Ashley is a w*****”.

There was no dismissive gesture when Alan Shearer’s name was chanted at regular intervals. Even Llambias knows which way the wind blows on that score.

But the contrast between the Magpies’ stroll on the field and the shambles which is preventing Shearer taking charge behind the scenes could not have been more obvious.

Darlington? On this evidence, Colin Todd has a mighty fight on his hands to rebuild a side torn apart by administration into a unit capable of competing at the top of League Two.

But he and Dean Windass are the types to battle the odds and win.

There was Windass, still strutting his stuff at 40, and causing Newcastle more problems than all his Quakers’ team-mates put together.

That the veteran was reading a different script was obvious from the very start, as he cannily drew a foul from Steven Taylor and then forced a decent save out of Tim Krul from the free kick.

That was only in the third minute. Seconds later though, Newcastle were ahead.

Joey Barton’s lofted through ball defeated one-time Magpie Paul Arnison’s attempted back-header and fell for Duff to fire first time past Tom Woodhead.

But the first name on the lips of the 3500 away fans remained “Shearer”.