No jealousy, honest

Feb 4 2003 By Sarah Ebmer, The Journal

Antonia Kidman does not want to talk about her older sister, Nicole. Her mood - which was light and humorous while discussing her yoga video, children and current pregnancy - has changed to stressed and uncomfortable.

And her enthusiastic replies to questions are rapidly turning monosyllabic.

It was "fine" going to the Oscars with her sister, she says, "no" it doesn't bother her that everyone knows about Nicole before they meet her, while she can't really say if there's a family resemblance between her and her red-headed sibling.

"You've got to decide," she says. "I don't know."

It can't be easy living in the shadow of someone as well known as Nicole Kidman.

The 35-year-old, who's three years older than Antonia, started acting while still a teenager and became world famous with her marriage to Tom Cruise. Now divorced from Cruise (a sticky time where Antonia offered much-needed support), Nicole seems to be even more successful.

She's just been awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, won a Golden Globe for her role in The Hours and is tipped for a second Oscar nomination.

Antonia Kidman, on the other hand, is not a name that instantly rings bells. In fact, it's doubtful whether her new video, Antonia Fitness Yoga: The Power And Style Of Ashtanga, would even have been released over here if not for her famous surname.

Antonia, who's bright and personable (when not discussing Nicole) loves talking about the wonders of Ashtanga yoga, which she practises for an hour, at 6.30am each day.

She does realise that she can't dismiss all questions about her sister. It's just that she prefers not to answer them.

"We get on well," says Antonia, who adds that she's not bothered by Nicole's celebrity. "It's about what you want for yourself and what makes you content and happy. I don't have envy or jealousy when it comes to her."

The Kidman girls - who are both tall (5ft 10in) and slim (despite Antonia being four months pregnant with her third child) - grew up in Sydney with their parents, Anthony and Janelle.

The family lived in what Antonia describes as a conservative area, but both parents were interested in politics.

"On election days, my father would stand at the church hall giving out Labour pamphlets," says Antonia, with a smile.

"We lived in a really blue ribbon area where there was no chance of Labour ever getting in, but he's completely fanatical about the Labour Party."

"It was good," she adds about the political influences on her and Nicole's childhood. "We were different to people in the area we lived in or the kids we used to associate with."

After school, Antonia began - and soon dropped out of - an arts degree. Aged 18, she came to London and stayed for a year.

"I loved it," she says enthusiastically. "It's a really interesting and seductive place.

"I love the architecture, the tiny little laneways and the cobbled streets. It's divine. In Sydney, it's old if it's 1850, whereas everything here is old."

With hindsight, Antonia is impressed that her parents allowed her to live thousands of miles away while still a teenager. Now she says she tries to be a laid back mother herself.

"At the end of the day, contentment is what we're all after," she says, adding meaningfully, "One person's measure of that isn't necessarily another's. Superficial success, whether that's in a job or in money or in fame or celebrity doesn't necessarily equal happiness."

By the time Antonia Kidman returned to Australia, Nicole was already on the way to movie stardom. But Antonia says not everyone sees her as the less famous Kidman sister.

"I have friends, I have a job and I have two children to whom I am their mother," she says.

"I am somebody's wife, I am somebody's daughter and a lot of people's friend, so I'm not defined by most people that I see as somebody's sister. Do you see what I mean?"

Unlike Nicole, who resides in Los Angeles, Antonia still lives in Sydney, where she works as a television presenter. The show she hosts, ironically, is about films.

"It doesn't irritate me," she says, that her sister is so well-known. "If it did, I'd hide and do a behind the scenes job. I wouldn't have gone for an on-air position.

"I wouldn't ever let what she does affect my goals or ambitions," she adds. "You need to be true to yourself and I think I am. I haven't traded on her name, I've done my work. I've worked in media for 10 years, I'm trained as a journalist... and I feel confident in that."

It's the name, clearly, that connects the two sisters. For, ignoring their height, they don't look much alike. Nicole's most obvious feature, her curly red hair, is not shared by Antonia, who has a short, dark brown bob. Antonia is pleasant looking, but no beauty.

What the pair do share, then, is the same surname. But if she didn't want to be linked with her sister, why didn't Antonia change her name when she married Angus Hawley?

"I thought I'd change my name when I got married but I just couldn't," she says seriously. "It's my identity and it's also my work. You work for a long time to get a name, it's a lot to give up.

"There's only two girls in our family," she adds. "There are no male cousins who have the name of Kidman. We're the last ones, so when we die, it will die."

It's somewhat ironic then that the Kidman name is currently so well-known. In Australia, Antonia's show, Premiere, is now broadcast across the country and she has noticed people becoming more aware of her. It's not something she craves.

"But it's nowhere near an invasive, horrible kind of recognition," she says, with a shudder. In other words, it's nothing like the kind of attention her sister has to deal with.