Semi-Pro

Feb 29 2008 Evening Chronicle

When a nonsensical 60-second cameo by soul diva Patti LaBelle is the highlight of a sports comedy, you know you’re in trouble.

In truth, you know you’re in trouble with Semi-Pro well before the endnote of Will Ferrell’s opening credits musical number, a suggestive disco ditty called Love Me Sexy, which supposedly topped the charts in the 1970s.

The exaggerated bouffant hair and lurid attire might be spot on, but the punchlines in Scot Armstrong’s script woefully miss their mark.

Ferrell mugs and goofs to no avail, flinging himself into preposterous set pieces like a wrestling match with a bear.

When that falls depressingly flat, he labours under the illusion that he can make a weak line of dialogue funny simply by littering it with swearwords.

First-time director Kent Alterman ticks off the cliches of the sports genre, bringing together a team of misfits who must overcome adversity to reclaim their self-respect. Needless to say, the underdogs emerge victorious but we’re the big losers for willingly sitting through the film until the final whistle.

One-hit wonder Jackie Moon (Ferrell, pictured) uses the profits from Love Me Sexy to buy his own basketball team, the Flint Michigan Tropics, part of the maverick ABA league.

In his capacity as owner, coach, player and promoter, Jackie keeps the community spirit of Flint alive, delighting the dwindling crowds with renditions of his hit single before every game.

Unfortunately, his players lack one essential attribute: ability.

When the ABA announces its intention to merge with the NBA, the Tropics must achieve a top four finish.

Semi-Pro shoots, dribbles and scores just one laugh in 91 minutes and the grandstand finish can’t come quickly enough.

The script should have been relegated to the shredder to spare Ferrell and co the embarrassment of slam-dunking their careers with this drivel.

(15, 91 mins) Comedy. Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Andre Benjamin, Maura Tierney, Andrew Daly

SWEARING :: SEX ::VIOLENCE